From shihhsia@iscs.nus.edu.sg Fri May 22 09:14:51 1998 Path: sund.iscs.nus.sg!not-for-mail From: Two-Face Newsgroups: iscs.rec.humour Subject: Computer Chickens Date: 21 May 1998 02:18:39 GMT Organization: Arkham Asylum Lines: 78 Message-ID: <6k02tv$ahi$8@sund.iscs.nus.sg> NNTP-Posting-Host: sun450.iscs.nus.edu.sg NNTP-Posting-User: shihhsia User-Agent: tin/pre-1.4-980202 (UNIX) (SunOS/5.6 (sun4u)) Xref: sund.iscs.nus.sg iscs.rec.humour:5479 WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road ... C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways. C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side. COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING. IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGc Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked. Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side. G3 300 mH Chicken: It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken. Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times. Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have backed up before crossing. Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do! Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to. Microsoft Chicken (TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road. Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you an carry it across the road in your pocket! NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure. OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message. OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed. OS/ 8.1 HFS+ Chicken: It had much more free space to cross. Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice. VB Chicken: USHighways! (aChicken) Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running. Windows 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken. Windows 98 Chicken: It should have expected to cause a crash while crossing. -- "What could be fairer than a random toss of an honest coin?" Two-Face at Arkham Asylum E-mail: shihhsia@iscs.nus.edu.sg, isc70105@leonis.nus.edu.sg Home Page at http://www.iscs.nus.edu.sg/~shihhsia